Learn How to Make Peace with the Darkness

Life is a mystery.

Some days we’re on top of a mountain and others we’re making our way through the valley.

This past month I was able to take an amazing vacation with my family, sail on a racing catamaran with Olympic medalists, and participate in a weekend retreat in the mountains.

And then there was yesterday.  When things just kept happening that I couldn’t anticipate or plan for.  And all I could do was be in the moment.  Can you relate?

7:00 a.m. – Wake up. Get my son off to school.  Have some quiet time over breakfast.

8:00 a.m. – Plan to meditate.  Phone rings. It’s my mom.  She has something she wants to share and it’s good to catch up. Yet, despite our mutual love and caring for each other I realize that we are becoming further and further apart politically.  Hmmm…should I care?  Nah!

9:00 a.m. – Catch up on e-mails.

10:00 a.m. – Receive a text from a friend saying both of our high school campuses are on lock-down. Spend the next hour texting back and forth with others trying to determine what’s going on and praying it’s not real.  Finally learn it was a false alarm.  This is the world we live in.

11:00 a.m. – Go for a bike ride.

11:30 a.m. – Receive a text from another friend.  She says she just passed by my house on the way home from a funeral.  A very close friend of hers and her husband’s died suddenly of a pulmonary embolism.  He was our age.

12:00 p.m. – Have lunch while on a virtual call with my Synergy group…amazing women from around the world who support and encourage each other in stepping into our truth and sharing our gifts and talents in the world.

1:30 p.m. – Finish writing my signature talk on when I discovered my calling to empower women and how I guide them to make their AWE-thentic Impact.

3:00 p.m. – Lay down on the couch.

3:30 p.m. – Take a call from a man who my husband has mentored since he was in high school.  He’s African-American, partially disabled from an accident, and out of work.  He shared with me that he’d like to move out of his mom’s place where he’s been living since he lost his job.  But the only places he can afford are in neighborhoods that are more violent than where he currently lives.  So he asks, “Should I leave one bad place for another that is worse?”

4:00 p.m. – Realize I forgot to purchase fresh chicken for the crock-pot dish I was planning to make for dinner, so I decide to chance it and  use the frozen chicken from the freezer.  Livin’ life on the edge!

5:00 p.m. – My son arrives home to announce that the event for Best Buddies and his soccer team that he planned for the following day fell through.  It was partially his fault but also a result of mis-communication amongst other leaders.  He’s heart-broken and embarrassed.  He then sits down at the table – close to tears – and tells me he’s so stressed out from everything.   School, college applications, activities.  There’s no time to just chill out.

6:00 p.m. – Have dinner with my husband and son.

7:00 p.m. – Go for a full moon walk with my husband.

8:00 p.m. – Listen to the news channels debate the upcoming Kavanaugh hearings.  Ugghh!!

9:00 p.m. – Read something positive to shift the energy.

10:00 p.m. – Contemplate the day I just had.

This is not a typical day for me.  Or at least it hasn’t been.  I’m usually much more rigid with my schedule.  Carving out plenty of time for my business and leaving the personal for off-hours.

But I’m trying to learn how to be more in the “flow” of life.  Watching events unfold and being present to them.  Trying to understand what they have to teach me.

Yesterday it was this…

Joy

Peace

Division

Fear

Freedom

Grief

Inspiration

Creativity

Rest

Frustration

Concern

Gratitude

Awe

Disbelief

Inspiration

Contemplation

A day filled with light and dark – interwoven together seamlessly.

So how do we stay in the light when the darkness seems so close and keeps trying to overtake us?

Radical self-care and soul-care.  Recognizing that we’re not the savior of the world.  Not everything is ours to do or fix.  We can listen, we can support, we can love.

And we can find the way to make our AWE-thentic Impact.  That place where we are called to serve, bringing our unique gifts and talents and sharing our magnificence.  And trusting others from our giving tribe to do their part as well.

What’s the other option?  Overwhelm.  Burn-out.  Fatigue.

Giving up or giving in to what we can’t comprehend, control, or change.

That’s not what the world needs right now.  The world needs you to be you.  In all your magnificence.  In whatever way that happens for you.

You don’t need to prove anything.  You don’t need to change anything.  You don’t need to fix anything.

Just love yourself fully. Love others as best you can.  And trust that the Universe is evolving in exactly the way it should and you are part of that evolution.

Just be you!

Discover your “Outside Voice” for Greater Impact!

Have you ever encouraged a child to use their “inside voice” in the hopes of quieting them down? I recall using that phrase on numerous occasions with my own children when they were younger. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes not so much.

Recently, it occurred to me that many of us, particularly women, have been encouraged to use our own “inside voices” in life when, in fact, what’s needed now more than ever is a chorus of “outside voices” willing to speak up for what’s right and true.

The other day I was having a conversation with my husband, brother-in-law, and two sons about a soccer game my son had played in and what a poor job the referees had done.  So much so that they lost control of the game and numerous players were injured.  We were discussing whether or not to write a letter to the league encouraging them to do a better job of training their referees.  The consensus from the group was that nothing would change.

I heartily disagreed!  I believe that the only way anything is going to change is if we speak up.  It might not be comfortable.  It might not be well received.  And it’s possible that nothing will happen.  At least not right away.

But if enough people speak up on a consistent basis and in a respectful manner voicing their concerns and offering solutions, then chances are things will eventually change.

What I know for sure is if we never say anything, never offer another way, never dream of a better world – it’s likely that things won’t change.

Watch my latest video blog to hear how my 90-year old mother found her voice and how doing so can lead to better health, a feeling of empowerment, and greater impact.  But don’t wait until you’re 90 to discover yours!

Be AWE-dacious!

Lis

Why Imagination Creates a Better Reality

What did you want to be when you grew up? When I was little, my friends and I had lots of different ideas. Every day, we would make pretend and be all those things.

We pretended we were Mommies with babies, teachers in school, nurses and doctors in a hospital, or secretaries in an office. (I hope today little girls are dreaming they can be CEOs, too!)

The point is, we would get lost in creativity and spend hours immersed in a world of our imagining. And we were never ready to stop playing when it was time to go home for dinner. The next day we’d pick up where we left off and the fun would begin again.

As an adult, I often wonder what it would be like if more of us would make pretend? What if instead of focusing on all the darkness, suffering, chaos, and division that is so prevalent in our world, we chose to imagine a better world?

What if we pretended that we could actually create that better world using our imagination, intellectual prowess, and a little chutzpah?

Could we imagine our way out of the darkness and into the light? I know we can! Not only can we – we must. Because the direction things are headed is woefully unacceptable.

Understanding Our Own Imagination

Imagination is defined as “the faculty of imaging, or of forming mental images or concepts of what is not actually present to the senses”. So, it’s not that what we imagine doesn’t exist. It’s just that we don’t experience it yet using our five senses.

In other words, a better world – a better way of living – does exist. It’s simply up to us to make it real.

We are the creators of our own reality. And, if you’re like me, the reality you imagine looks a whole lot different than the reality many of us are living on a daily basis.

The better world I imagine has figured out how to solve our most challenging social issues. Hunger, homelessness, and disease are a thing of the past. Education, employment, and healthcare are accessible to all. Violence, war, and destruction are a distant memory. Harassment, racism, and inequality are not tolerated. Women are not exploited and children are not abused.

And in this better world I am not constrained by feelings of fear or unworthiness. I’m not afraid that I don’t fit in or have what it takes to make a difference. I don’t play small because that’s the story somebody wrote for me.

From Dreams to Reality

In this better world that I imagine, I am courageous, confident, and limitless! I am open to the experience of infinite possibilities. And what I have to offer – what I have to share with the world – is desperately needed at this moment in time.

In fact, the world desperately needs what each of us has to offer, what each of us can dream, what each of us knows to be true.

It’s not that different from when we were little and we pretended that the world was filled with beauty and hope and love.

That’s why I can make this world my reality. I can’t control what others do, but I can control my actions and steps towards creating the world I desire.

Our imagination is the connection to our soul – our AWE-thentic self. We need to spend more time there.

Today I want you to think about something you really want to do. Or a way you really want to make a difference in your community, for your business, or for your family and friends. Dream it then go out and do it!

Leave me a comment below and tell me about the world you imagine and what you’re doing to make it real. Sometimes speaking our desires out loud (or virtually, that is) is the first step to getting them done!

Be AWE-dacious! Make pretend!

3 Simple Ways to Reduce Stress and Have More Fun (Every Single Day!)

When was the last time you laughed hard? I mean doubled over, gasping for breath, pee your pants kind of laughing?

Or when was the last time you danced? Like all out, shake your booty, hands in the air like you just don’t care kind of dancing?

How about playing? The kind of fun that makes you completely forget about your worries and fears.  The kind of fun that leaves you energized, rejuvenated, loving life.

I’m asking because I REALLY want to know!  Because I rarely laugh, dance, and play anymore.  And I don’t know why… 

I used to laugh hard. In fact, I was awarded 2^nd place for Funniest Girl in my high school senior class. (Robin Shartle beat me out and I’m still a bit salty about it – but she was funny and hopefully still is.)  And I still am funny and playful but it’s buried deep inside and rarely sees the light of day.

I used to dance. I took lessons when I was little at Bobby Riggs Dance Studio and I loved it – tap dancing in particular! I kept dancing into high school in theatre productions and on the pom-pom squad.  And we’d go out dancing every so often in college and when I was single.  I danced when my kids were little but not so much anymore.  (Although if you ask my husband and boys they will tell you they LOVE to watch me dance to Rainy Day by Coldplay.)

And play.  I don’t even remember the last time I played. Frankly, I’m not sure I know what play looks like anymore as an adult.

Does this sound familiar for you, too? This idea that somewhere along the way we got a bit too serious? That we forgot how to have real fun?

Laughing and dancing and playing.  That’s why we’re here!  So why don’t we do more of it?

Now, I know there’s a lot of darkness in the world, but if we’re to be “light bearers”, Pope Francis says we can’t walk around looking like we’re going to a funeral.

Re-Define Success

As adults, I think we often feel like we are being graded on what we accomplish, how successful we are, or how much money we make.

But what if we re-defined success as how often we laugh, dance, and play?

What if instead of focusing so much on our work, or the daily grind, or all of the have-to’s that fill our days – we began being intentional about finding things to laugh about amidst the chaos that is our world?

Stopping in the middle of the day to put on our favorite song and dance, dance, dance – ecstatic dance.  Getting down on the floor to play with your children or playing a game of tennis, cards, or even (and I can’t believe I’m saying this) a video game with your teenage son.

Schedule Play

It might take effort at first to break out of the habit of always putting work before play or taking life so seriously.

It might actually mean putting it on our calendar or having an alarm go off on our phone so we don’t forget…

• 10:00 Laugh
• 12:00 Dance
• 2:00   Play

But I bet it won’t be too long before you realize that you finally remember what life is all about.  You used to know – when you were a kid – and there was plenty of time to laugh and dance and play.

Remember her? Let’s go find her again.

Take a moment and share with me below: What makes you laugh until you cry? What’s your favorite dance tune? What do you do for fun?

Your sharing will help me remember!

Be AWE-dacious!

2 Ways to Actually Slow Down for More Success & Happiness

Do you feel like the pace of life is speeding up?

They say as you get older life seems to pass by more quickly, but this feels different.

Everything is coming at us so fast. Even my kids have noticed!

Years ago, when they were in elementary school, I remember talking to them about this.  My memory as a child was that each year passed by so slowly. I couldn’t wait to move from one grade to the next – to get older and be able to do new and exciting things.

But when I described this to my children they didn’t get it.  For them, life was moving very quickly.  At the start of a new school year I’d announce, “Only 180 days of school left!”  And in the blink of an eye we’d be counting down the last two or three days.  It’s like their childhood was being stolen from them.

I see it with my family and friends, too. It’s so challenging to find time to chat on the phone, meet for lunch, or squeeze in a walk to catch up.  It’s like we think that texting each other is enough to keep our relationships strong.  As if hearing each other’s voices or sitting face to face is no longer a necessary part of life.

Everyone is so damn busy, right?

Here’s a few steps you can take to slow down…

Take Back Time

I promise you there is enough time in your day. There is time enough to do exactly what the Universe needs you to do – no more, no less. In fact, time is a concept of our own making and yet we let it control our lives.

We rush around with our eye on the clock making sure we fill every moment and accomplish as much as possible in a 24-hour period.  We’re on a treadmill that never stops, and we refuse to jump off.

But let me ask you this…

What are you afraid will happen?  Someone will pass you by?  I say, “Let ‘em!”  This is a race I never signed up for. Wouldn’t you agree?

When was the last time you wasted time with friends or family?  I mean actually saw each other face-to-face without a specific event or reason? Or just enjoyed each other’s company without staring at a screen or thinking about what needs to get done?

So, today, sit down for a few minutes and schedule some time with friends or family. Pick two or three people this month you’d like to see and make a plan!

Do What You Love First

Sometimes, it’s as simple as just trying to do too much at one time.

What if you were to begin looking at your life in chapters? Instead of trying to do it all now, you put some things on hold to write into another chapter. It’s not that you’ll never do them, it’s just not going to all get done today or this week.

It might even mean saying “no” to some really good things so that you can say a “big yes” to the most important things.

Make a list of those important things and decide to make them top priority this month.

Right now, I’m jumping off the treadmill and I invite you to do the same. Let’s stop running around this month!

Now it’s your turn…

What are you going to put on hold for the time being so that you can spend more time just being?  Leave a comment for me below and let’s do this together!

Be AWE-dacious!