It seems like no matter how hard I try to simplify my life and manage my commitments, my to-do list never seems to get any shorter. There are just so many AWE-mazing people, organizations, and missions dedicated to co-creating a better way forward. And I want to be part of that! Don’t you?
The reality, however, is that we can’t do it all. Continual distractions, obligations, and responsibilities keep us from staying focused on our Sacred Mission.
And I don’t believe we incarnated on the planet to experience the daily grind. If we want to maintain balance in our life, we must carve out time to just relax and have fun.
So how do we enjoy a life that is rich in creativity and adventure while overcoming overwhelm?
Recently, a few suggestions have crossed my path…
The first comes from Rachel Botsman, a Trust Fellow from Oxford University, who is credited for coming up with the concept of “to-don’t” lists – a way to eliminate overburdening and non-essential activities.
This a clever way to start reconfiguring our daily living, don’t you think? Here are a couple of things on my “to-don’t” list…
- Don’t schedule morning meetings so I can have plenty of time to enjoy my Spiritual practices
- Don’t spend time with people who drain my energy
- Don’t believe that just because someone sends me an email I have to read it – be choosy
- Don’t watch the fear-inducing news streams or waste time scrolling through social media feeds
- Don’t sign up for too many online summits/workshops/courses – even though the content is appealing my brain can become saturated and leave very little space for my own genius to shine through
The next suggestion came from Dr. Paul Corona, a personal coach for achievement-oriented leaders who he believes tend to say “yes” too often and as a result have too much going on. He suggests the following experiment…
“In your head and heart, start saying “no” to every single new thing that comes your way. In other words, change your default response to no. Then stop and ask yourself, “Do I really, truly have to say yes to this one?” If so…by all means say yes, do the thing, and do it well. Otherwise, respond no. Try this for a month. And also take a good, hard look at your current calendar commitments and change every “maybe” and “weak yes” to a no. When the month is up, evaluate the quality of your professional and personal life.”
Corona says that in 20+ years of coaching leaders, he has never had anyone report a problem or significant disruption after completing this experiment. In fact, the stuff they never needed to do just goes away somehow or they delegate and let it go.
This falls right in line with a quote I once heard that says…
“Successful people say no to almost everything!”
Over time, I’ve discovered two approaches in my own life that when practiced keep me focused and happier. The first is to examine my life using three containers…
- Have To
- Should
- Want To
The “Have To” container consists of those things that you maybe don’t love to do but you have to like laundry, cleaning house, and paying bills. The key here is to get them done as quickly and efficiently as possible.
This leaves more time for the “Want To” container which should be filled to the brim with high-vibrational, life-affirming people, things, and activities. Ideally, your sacred mission falls into this category as well.
The “Should” container is the place of untapped potential because here you find all those things that you think you’re supposed to do or feel obligated to do but really don’t want to. When you take time to examine this container and have the courage to remove these people, things, and activities from your life – the clouds part, the sun shines through, and you might even hear the sound of angels singing a hallelujah chorus.
Life becomes magical!
I know it can be challenging to eliminate people and things from your life that have been there for a long time. So I have another method I use that helps make the process a bit more clear.
In my favorite Divine Feminine oracle deck from Meggan Watterson, she introduces us to “Freyja”, the Goddess of Discernment, and one of the most powerful and important deities in Norse mythology. Here’s what Meggan writes…
“You get to choose the life you want to live. And this happens by being fierce and warrior-like about what you say yes to. Use discernment so that you are only saying yes to what will actually nourish and renew you, inspire or expand you. It’s not your business to worry about those you might disappoint. You were not made to meet everyone’s expectations of you. You were made to express the truth of who you are and to use the brief time you have here to live out your potential…Your only true obligation is to the voice of your own soul.”
I suggest that as you step more fully into your magnificence and design the life of your dreams, begin asking yourself with each new invitation or opportunity…
“Is this a Holy Yes or a Hell No?”
And then experience the Mystery, Magic, and Miracles of your Destiny!
Be bold. Be Daring.
Be AWE-DACIOUS!
P.S. We can sometimes feel guilty for exercising our right to say, “Hell No.” If you find yourself here remember this…your “Hell No” opens up the opportunity for someone else to say her “Holy Yes”.
We can’t do it all. That’s why we’re in this together!
