This past year saw an end to one chapter and the beginning of a new for myself and my husband. We officially became empty-nesters after dropping our sons off at college, our youngest for the first time.
This is one of those stages in life that you know is coming and do everything you can to prepare for it, and yet when it arrives it still hits you in the gut.
The days and weeks leading up to our son’s departure were filled with shared memories, hugs, laughter, and tears. However, the day we moved him in turned out to be more rushed than we had anticipated and our good-byes brief. Maybe a good thing.
And then we arrived home to a VERY quiet house. No family calendar filled with activities. No basement filled with teenage boys. No late-night chats over pizza.
Just silence. And gratitude for all the amazing times we’ve had and stories yet to be written.
For the first time in 22 years, I have plenty of time on my hands. Plenty of time for self-care and soul-care. Time for family and friends. Time to re-evaluate the direction for AWE Partners. And time to dream about the future.
But to ignore the grief would be not only potentially harmful but also inauthentic. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that there’s a piece of me that feels like it’s missing. Like it left my body and went off to college. A piece that can’t be replaced by activities, events, or other people.
And that’s ok. The grief is simply an indication of the depth of love I feel for my children and for the life we’ve lived together all these years. It has molded me and shaped me into the person I am today. It allowed me to explore the depths of my feminine side and to better understand the depths of the masculine that I have shared space with.
It also allows me to recognize my strength and the strength of all the women who have loved deeply only to release that love out into the world. We women feel the joy and the pain in the depths of our soul and incorporate it into our being adding to the richness of life.
So what next? Well, apparently, my last birthday was some kind of milestone. At this stage of life I don’t even count. I’m just so thrilled to be alive and healthy that birthdays come and go as a celebration.
But certain family members and friends (who shall remain anonymous) attempted to thwart my positive outlook on life with questions such as, “Do you feel old?”. Or discussions that centered on providing proof of just how old we are.
Not going there, girls! You do you, but the fact is given my DNA I’m likely only at the half-way point of my life. Which means I have A LOT of years ahead of me. And I plan to make the best of them.
Rather than growing old, I feel myself GROWING NEW!!
Never before have I been at a place in my life where I felt such potential for freedom. Freedom from the responsibilities of school or work. Freedom from the responsibilities of parenting. Freedom from caring what other people think or expect of me. Freedom to follow my bliss and do things that bring me joy.
Freedom to tap into the depths of my soul and listen to the voice of intuition that is guiding me forward toward a calling that my entire life has been preparing me for. My purpose, my destiny, my dharma.
Can I see it clearly? No! Is the path certain? No! Do I know how to get there? Nope!
But those aren’t the questions I’m asking in this second half of life. Instead, I ask myself…
Can I trust it? Yes! Am I ready? Yes! How can I serve?
How can I empower other women to heal their wounds, trust their journey, answer their calling, and serve from a place of love, compassion, and kindness?
Good-byes and grief are part of the journey, as is darkness. But the Universe is constantly evolving toward the light and co-creating through us as we grow ourselves new and inspire others to do the same.
We need you out there as a light-bearer and I could use some companionship. Will you join me in growing new?
Be bold. Be daring. Be AWE-dacious!
Lis
P.S. Reach out to me if you want to explore opportunities to partner/collaborate in 2020!
