Not that I am so self-absorbed to think any of you have asked this question over the past ten months. After all, you have plenty to keep you occupied amidst the ongoing chaos.
But for those of you in this AWE-mazing Sisterhood who have wondered, I thought it was time to share where I disappeared to and why. I wish I could say I decided to escape to a far off destination until the madness ceased. But, alas, my story is not that romantic.
My first blog post was in January of 2016, and for five years I wrote consistently at least once a month. Until I abruptly and unexpectedly stopped this past February. I say unexpectedly because this was not at all in my plan. If you have been following you know I was in the midst of sharing lots of posts, interviews, videos, and trainings focused on social impact and women’s empowerment.
So, what happened? Well, in February I was in meditation. And let me just add that I had committed in 2021 to devoting my mornings to spiritual reading, reflection, and meditation recognizing that more time spent on the “inner work” would lead to more impact on the “outer work”.
Who knew how profound this decision would be!
So, I’m sitting in meditation and I receive a download, or guidance from the higher realms. I get this a lot; however, it’s only recently that I’ve recognized it as such. Historically, I would have said it just came to me or it was a thought I had. Now I know I have always been guided and, thankfully, for much of my life have listened to the wisdom.
Anyway, the message that day was crystal clear…
“The Freedom and Flow you’re seeking aren’t out there beyond some goal you’ve set for yourself. The Freedom and Flow are available to you now. So why aren’t you choosing them?”
Boom! I immediately sensed the profundity and knew it was Truth. My Soul had been crying out for Freedom & Flow for a long time. But what did this message mean for me and my life?
It meant I needed to put AWE Partners on indefinite pause. Why? Because something about the way I was running this social enterprise was keeping me from the Freedom & Flow I deeply desired.
Although AWE Partners has been inspired from the start – and I absolutely love all it represents (Authentic Women Empowered) – it had become a burden. I was spending the bulk of my time “running the business” – trapped on a marketing treadmill that kept me from doing the things I really loved and spending time in my Zone of Genius. It happens a lot to entrepreneurs, but particularly to those running on-line businesses where you’re constantly trying to get your message out there in a world that grows noisier by the day.
When the message came through it was clear to me. I had to take a break, re-evaluate, and determine my next course of action. So I did. I looked at my calendar, figured out what commitments I needed to follow through on, and stopped any future planning. Within a couple of weeks, I was completely done.
Now here’s where it gets interesting and surprised the heck out of me. I didn’t miss it! Not one iota! I didn’t miss any of it!
To say I was shocked is an understatement. How could I not miss the thing I had devoted six years of my life to? How could I not miss being absorbed in my purpose? How could I not miss the most fulfilling calling in my life other than motherhood?
How? I don’t know. I just didn’t miss it. In fact, not only did I not miss it – I LOVED IT! I loved it so much I thought I might never go back. I might not ever work again. Why would I when this is so freeing??
AWE Partners 1.0 was complete. Perhaps there would be an AWE Partners 2.0 or maybe not. I didn’t know.
I was so happy to JUST BE!!
But here was the even bigger revelation. I didn’t need AWE Partners to be content or fulfilled. I didn’t need to say I was a Founder and CEO to feel good about myself. If someone asked me what I was doing I had no problem saying…”NOTHING”!!
Why is this such a revelation? Because my entire life had been spent on the path we’re supposed to be on. You know, the one that’s supposed to make us fulfilled and content.
Study hard, get good grades, go to college, get a good job, make money, get married, buy a house, have children, keep your children off drugs and out of jail, get them into a good college, start a business, volunteer, save the world……
Sound familiar to anyone?
The Freedom & Flow I was seeking required me to step off the path and into the wilderness – the great unknown – where there was no pre-determined path.
But there was something else that shocked me. By learning to “Just Be” I discovered that I WAS ENOUGH!
In my book, The Gutsy Guide to Giving, I wrote about how etched on my inner glass ceiling were the words, “You’re Not Good Enough”. And now, my inner glass ceiling had been shattered! I knew without a doubt that I was good enough, and I didn’t need to do anything to make that so. I could truly “Just Be” and that was enough.
For about six months I floated in a river of just being, enjoying every moment of it, until something started niggling at me very gently, asking me to consider what my Soul might want to do next.
Stay tuned and until then…
Be Bold. Be Daring. Be AWE-dacious!
P.S. Have you been longing for a non-partisan, interfaith Community in which to immerse yourself in Body Wisdom – Heart Opening – Soul Connection? Together, WE are uniting in our Feminine Power to uplift and awaken ourselves and support one another in the TRUTH of who we are. We Lovingly Invite you to Join us in the Awakening of the Sovereign Feminine!