Last year, following our incredible online summit – Creatrix Convergence 2022, my co-creatrix and I had planned to launch a new program. But my gut and everything in me was telling me to “STOP”. It wasn’t clear why, but I heeded the guidance. In fact, I even went so far as to make the decision to close my business completely as I’ve shared here previously.
It wasn’t until year-end that I had an opportunity to sit back and reflect on 2022. And the revelation that came to me was – overall it was a really “crappy” year. I hate to say that. In fact, I don’t believe I’ve ever said that. I’m a glass half full type of person who always finds the good in any situation. But I just couldn’t deny the truth. And glossing over the reality was causing me harm.
Beginning in June, it felt like a relentless attack was occurring on myself and my family. One crisis or challenging event after another. So, I did like I always do. I went into survival mode and managed through it to the best of my ability not concerning myself with the impact it was having on my body and psyche.
In December, I was at an appointment where they took my blood pressure. It was uncharacteristically high. Not only had I never had high blood pressure, mine was always in a very healthy range. I didn’t become overly concerned and assumed it was simply a result of all the stress of the year confident it would return to normal once life calmed down.
In January, I had it taken again with the same result – higher than it should be. Additionally, I had been experiencing light headedness for about a month at that time.
Playing it safe, I made an appointment with my integrative physician who suggested we do some blood work just to see if there’s anything out of the ordinary. The bloodwork came back fine so he suggested I take my blood pressure each morning to track it.
That’s when things got interesting. I found that any time I went to take it I would become highly anxious. So much so that I couldn’t get an accurate reading. It was like being caught in a loop. The device I needed to check to be sure I was okay actually made me not okay. So now what?
This is a road I’ve been down many times. I’ve lived with anxiety around illness for as long as I can remember, having acquired it from my mom and exacerbated by the fact that my dad died of cancer at just 56 years old.
I’ve even done significant healing work to address this in the past – so why is it coming up again? Why now? And why this?
Easy answer…I got really stressed last year as a result of all the mayhem. I felt off kilter (lightheadedness) and high tension (elevated blood pressure). I get very anxious around issues of health. So, take some blood pressure medication and be done with it.
Hard answer…I got really stressed last year as a result of the mayhem. I felt off kilter (lightheadedness) and high tension (elevated blood pressure). I get very anxious around issues of health. So, address the underlying cause of the health anxiety at a deeper level than ever before so you can rid yourself of this once and for all and restore health, wholeness, and vitality to your life.
I chose the latter because, apparently, I love a challenge.
Here’s the thing – I tend to have very healthy habits. I eat well, take supplements, maintain a healthy weight, exercise, sleep fairly well. So many of the things suggested to lower blood pressure were already part of my routine.
I decided to double down on my meditation practice and began incorporating Yoga and Qi Gong more regularly into my schedule – also trying to be very intentional about slowing down and relaxing.
Additionally, a friend had recommended a book called “The Emotion Code: How to Release Your Trapped Emotions for Abundant Health, Love, and Happiness” by Dr. Bradley Nelson. I was fascinated by it. Yes, I knew that trapped emotions could lead to illness and dis-ease, but I had never heard of such an easy way to release them. Knowing the likelihood that I had boat loads of trapped emotions, I found an Emotion Code practitioner and began working with her remotely.
Here’s what’s really cool…the released emotions don’t just come from this lifetime so it makes sense that we wouldn’t be aware of them. They can be pre-natal (while in the womb), pre-conception (hard to even imagine), and from past lives. And the clearing happens not just for me but for my ancestors and future generations. Power-full!!
Although my health has not yet been completely restored, shifts are happening and the symptoms are lessening. Of course, I want to be healthy as quickly as possible. But I also know that if I rush the process I may miss out on a tremendous opportunity for growth and transformation.
I’m not alone in having deep seated emotions coming up from the subconscious for healing. In my case, I’ve named it fear and anxiety. Another soul sister is working on guilt and shame, while another is addressing loneliness and isolation.
Why? Why is all of this coming up now?
Because it’s time, dear SiStars. Time to heal at the deepest levels of our being. To break through all of the unconscious patterns, behaviors, beliefs, and programs that have kept us in suffering, separation, lack, and limitation.
It can be deceptive. Trapped emotions may show up as subconscious habits or ways of being. An approach to life we’ve always taken without realizing the detrimental effect it’s having on our health, happiness, and flourishing.
We can’t move forward and co-create the New Future if we’re held back by trapped emotions, lower frequency vibrations, and unhealed wounds. These energies are keeping us in bondage – preventing us from fully stepping into our True Essence and Magnificence.
Trust me, I know it can be scary to go there – to do the shadow work. I know it can feel like we’re just digging up wounds and scars that are better left undisturbed. But the reality is even if we’re not conscious of them – they’re there – wreaking havoc in many cases.
And when we have the courage to “do the work”, we discover there’s freedom on the other side. A freedom we may have never experienced and that we’re destined to remember.
It can sometimes feel lonely to be walking our individual healing journey that no one can completely understand because it’s our unique path. But along the way, in addition to the incredible support of my Soul Sisters, I have felt the love and nurturing of my guides and teachers.
On February 1st, a day known as Imbolc in the Gaelic tradition, marking the mid-point between the winter solstice and spring equinox, I had a wonderful encounter with Brigid, the Goddess of pre-Christian Ireland. I awoke early in the morning and while lying in bed received clarity that my symptoms were being caused by my fear and anxiety. By naming it as emotions I knew I could heal, I felt a tremendous amount of relief and actually felt my heart and head relax.
Later that morning, as I was shuffling my Divine Feminine oracle deck (created by Meggan Watterson) a card popped out. I turned it over and saw to my delight it was Brigid! She was there to assure me I was not alone on this healing journey. The card said…
“There’s that moment when you’re making your way through the dark and suddenly (after what feels like days, or months, or even years) a ray of light comes through to you. A lightening happens. Each step isn’t quite as hard to make as the one before. And you feel a great shift begin, as if now you’re headed toward something new. Something even brighter. Brigid is the essence of that first flame, that first ray of light. Brigid reminds us that the darkness never lasts.”
Imagine how your life will change as you expand your body temple to be able to hold more of the higher frequencies and operate from a higher consciousness here on Earth!
Be bold. Be Daring. Be AWE-dacious!
P.S. I truly hope you are well. But if you, too, are feeling the pull to address emotions, thoughts, or symptoms you’ve been avoiding, I encourage you to not put it off any longer. Freedom is on the other side of fear and you’re not alone – we’re in this together!
And if you’re on a healing journey I’d love to hear from you so I can provide support and encouragement. Just reply to this email. Sending so much love!! xoxo
